Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus: Google!: Page 2

Posted December 22, 2010

Mike Elgan

Mike Elgan

(Page 2 of 2)

• Keep getting fatter.

The earliest depictions of Santa Claus described him as being thin -- even gaunt. As time went by, however, he became fatter and, presumably, more jolly. Nowadays, Santa Claus can only be described as morbidly obese.

Likewise, Google started out as a search engine designed as a "lite" alternative to bloated Yahoo and Alta Vista. Besides quality of search results, Google's chief attribute was slimness.

Over time, the company has launched hundreds of products and acquired dozens of companies -- at least 25 of them this year alone. Now, the company has become as bloated and over-sized as Santa Claus himself.

• Take advantage of the cookies they find in your home.

Children check the plate of cookies they leave out for evidence of Santa Claus' visit. Likewise, by checking the cookies on your computer, you can tell if Google services have been downloaded in your browser.

• Receive "letters" all the time that go unanswered.

Both Santa Claus and Google give away free stuff. As such, they have no obligation to answer questions or provide tech support on the items they give away. And you certainly can't reach either by telephone.

Unlike Santa Claus, however, Google services must be accessed with an all-important password. If you get "locked out" of your account for whatever reason, go ahead and send a note to Google.

You'll get exactly the same response as if you were to write a letter to Santa asking for a pony.

• Keep track of who's naughty and nice.

Santa Claus doesn't bring presents to all the boys and girls, only the good ones. If you've been bad in the previous year, you get nothing.

Likewise, Google keeps lists of who's naughty and nice. If your small company, for example, does something on its web pages that Google doesn't like, the company will blacklist you, which means it will remove your site from its index. When potential customers search for a company like yours, they won't find it with a Google search.

For all these reasons, I believe in Santa Claus. Again.

Google sees you when you're sleeping. They know when you're awake. They know when you've been bad or good (so be good for Google's sake!)

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Tags: cookies, security, Google, privacy, Webmaster Tools

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