No, please dont Twitter while we speak with you thats exactly what were here to talk with you about.
We think its time to get past the denial, Robert. Your Twittering has gotten out of control. Weve checked your Twitter stats and they boggle the mind.
No, Robert, please, dont Twitter about your intervention. Please just give your thumbs a rest .
Check his stats at Twitterholic (thats the actual name of the site). Youll see hes posted 19,108 updates (at last glance) over the last 2.3 years.
Do the math and you'll realize he averages 682 updates a month, or about 23 posts a day. If he sleeps seven hours a night, that means he tweets about once every 44 minutes. (Thats assuming Robert doesnt tweet while he sleeps, which he might. Is there such a thing as sleep-tweeting?)
To sum it up: over the last 850 days, more than once an hour, every day of the week, all day long, he has gone to Twitter and posted a sentence of 140 characters or less.
Id say thats a tiny bit compulsive, wouldnt you?
But wait, you say, surely there are other Twitterholics whos tweet addiction rages just as hard. Well, look at the list of top Twitterers (based on numbers of followers) and youll see that Robert lives up where the air is thin.
The New York Times' Twitter stats indicate 29,164 posts, but thats a feed pumped out by a full army of staffers. Guy Kawasaki has 20,091, but scientists have discovered that Guy is actually a publicity bot, some kind of recombinant mix of motivational speaker and PR-tron.
Compared with Robert, Mashables Pete Cashmore is a relative slacker at 14,385 and counting. Tim OReilly must be busy with his tech publishing empire, at 5,880. Digg founder Kevin Rose apparently has better things to do, with 2,204. And tech uber-dude Leo LaPorte is positively lethargic at 1,997. Cmon guys, sip your Red Bull and get cranking.
(By the way, Britney Spears is No. 3 on the planet in terms of Twitter followers, yet has a mere 95 updates; thats probably because she only tweets when shes inspired: Went shopping in Coral Gables, bought some purses and sunglasses! Britney. Barack Obama has a scant 264 updates, most of which look like they were written by someone else; for the sake of the country lets hope the president spends not a moment on Twitter.)
But back to obsessed Robert. Clearly, his more than 19,000 updates are astounding. Its the social networking equivalent of the 4-minute mile, once thought to be humanly impossible. But it doesnt tell the whole story.
To get a better view of the Scobleizers intensity, look at individual days. On March 5, he tweeted 42 times; on March 3, he generated 76 tweets; and on March 4, his mojo must have been rising: 86 tweets.
Imagine 86 updates in about 17 hours, or one post every 11 minutes, for hours and hours on end.
I mean, we all have our funny habits. A little stash of double-fudge brownies we keep nearby. A strong desire to see every last episode of Doogie Howser, M.D. But 17 hours of posting one-sentence updates every 11 minutes? Thats like some kind of conceptual art project gone overboard, in which a human being so completely immerses himself in the Internet that all boundaries cease to exist.
Or, alternately, its some kind of wild Vegas stage act, far surpassing Criss Angel, in which a daredevil vigorously taps his thumbs until his oxygen almost runs out. No, hes drowning, get him away from Twitter!
Robert proves that we humans are still superior to machines, because he churns out content faster than any wimpy automated feed. Thank you Robert, now if only we could beat IBMs Deep Blue at chess wed be back on top. Perhaps the best description of Scobles energy level comes from tech pundit Paul Boutin, who dubbed him Always-On Bobby.
By the way, I saw the Scobleizer speak at Mediabistro Circus last spring. Hes an engaging speaker and, by all appearances, a fully sane human being. And I once had a brief phone conversation with him and again, hes a nice guy who seems wholly in possession of his marbles.
But that fact that hes nice, apparently sane guy means hes all the more deserving of our help. Robert, we promise we will still pay attention to you even if you give Twitter a rest. We really do.
Robert, its time. The nice men in the white coats will help you out to the van. Youre going someplace very peaceful. Robert, no! Dont make this difficult! Robert, step away from the browser .